lauraflaps

My Eve of Justice Speech

2009-03-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight, at 35 Eve of Justice events across the state of California as well as in Arizona and Oklahoma, people are coming together to light the way to the Supreme Court in honor of tomorrow’s opening statements by the attorneys who will try to overthrow prop 8.

This is from the Eve of Justice planning group… (Tonight we are sending a unified message to our fellow Californians, that it is wrong to take away basic rights from a minority group at the ballot box, and we consider equal marriage rights vital to our lives and families. Tonight we also give our love and support to all the families headed by same-sex couples who are threatened by the recent electoral outcome, as well as same-sex couples whose hopes and dreams of marriage and family have been frustrated by enactment of Prop 8.)

For me, to do this here, at Reverend Sarah’s church is quite meaningful.

Two days before our planned civil ceremony at the county clerk’s office on August 8, Karla and I met with Sarah for the first time.

Within hours of our meeting and a day and a half before we got married, we decided to change our plans and instead got married by Sarah at the Oak Creek Community Park near our house where our neighbor’s daughter spent the day, staking out our space at the picnic benches.

Sarah also brought a fellow parishioner and musician, who had offered to play for free at any gay or lesbian wedding. He is John Schuster, who is also playing here tonight.

And … on the night after the election, Sarah opened up her church to the community so we would have some place to come together and hold one another through our pain and sadness.

How perfect for Sarah and for this space that we can come together here on the Eve of Justice.

At our reception, I asked my brother to read this poem – it is called A MARRIAGE, by Michael Blumenthal:

You are holding up a ceiling

with both arms. It is very heavy,

but you must hold it up, or else

it will fall down on you. Your arms

are tired, terribly tired,

and, as the day goes on, it feels

as if either your arms or the ceiling

will soon collapse.

But then,

unexpectedly,

something wonderful happens:

Someone,

a man or a woman,

walks into the room

and holds their arms up

to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get

to take down your arms.

You feel the relief of respite,

the blood flowing back

to your fingers and arms.

And when your partner's arms tire,

you hold up your own

to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this

for many years

without the house falling.

Karla and I were doing fine holding up our house before we got married. We love and support one another and had committed to holding up our house together.

But once we got married, I felt the love and support of our families and friends, buttressed by the legal recognition from the state of California. The burden felt lighter, the experience less lonely, and the fear and shame that still surfaced from time to time, dissolved.

Standing in the park that day, and for some time after, I felt safe.

A few weeks after our wonderful and amazing two-day wedding I was driving home from work, got off the freeway at Jeffrey, and there they were.

I had seen the signs, but I guess I did not expect to see the people.

My heart began to beat furiously. I glared intently at one woman from my car window and I swear she actually looked down. Perhaps this is a projection, but I sensed that she saw me, my face, my eyes, my pain, and she felt ashamed.

There were a lot of them, more than 50.

But then, as I approached the median at Alton, there was one young woman, very small, with dark hair, standing there, surrounded by the pasty-faced yellow-shirted glossy-eyed fancy-printed-sign holders, with a homemade sign on a piece of cardboard that simply said “No on 8.” If you are here, by the way, I’d love to give you a huge hug.

I screamed out my car window that I’d be right there.

By the time I parked, a small man with head of curly reddish brown hair had arrived carrying a bunch of no on 8 signs. He did not know who I was, but he handed me a sign.

That was the night I met Harvey Liss. Or at least one of the Harveys, because I swear there are 2 of him just like there is more than one Felicity and more than on Dean Inada, both of whom also showed up shortly thereafter.

Another night, at the same street corner, as Harvey hauled out the big sign – the 8 footer on actual posterboard that took 2 people to carry - I remember asking him “Harvey, why are you here, why are you doing this?” And without a beat he answered “I am trying to save my life.”

After that first night, something that had been percolating inside me simply erupted. I am not sure it has stopped since then, and I do not know when it will. I had been involved before that night, but the combination of seeing those people with their awful yellow signs, and meeting Harvey, Felicity, Dean and others, ignited in me both shear terror and profound hope. How could you not hope when you find out that Dean goes to Barnes and Noble and slips meeting flyers inside the pages of all the progressive magazines?

Soon after that I met BJ and soon after that, a small group of crazy incensed terrorized homo loving commies (or commie loving homos?) stayed up for 72 hours engaged in some insane mission to get to the voters at the polls.

And, then, on the Saturday after the election, in Archer’s dance studio, writing our notes on the mirrored studio walls, we formed OCEC.

God knows that holding up our own ceilings can be difficult enough. But we have work to do.

Tonight is about making a pledge, as a community, despite and in celebration of all of our differences, to continue to pursue justice, regardless of what the courts decide.

The openly gay civil rights leader, who organized the 1963 March on Washington, and considered by many a father of the modern Black movement, Bayard Rustin said “To be afraid is to behave as if the truth were not true.”

So I am going to ask you to put the other stuff down and to help us hold up THIS ceiling. Because when we are holding on to the anger, fear, disappointment, and disagreements, we cannot hold up the ceiling.

And we need all of our arms, so that we can take turns holding up the ceiling and reaching out to others.

It is the only way we will achieve equality for ALL.

Marriage Matters

2009-02-22T18:07:00.000-08:00

Our video. Please watch it and rate it!

"Warrengate" or "How You Too Can Be Friends With Melissa Ethridge"

2009-01-03T17:13:00.000-08:00

I have recently accepted the post as Vice-Chair of OCEC, the Orange County Equality Coalition, a new non-profit that is working to establish equal rights. I am still not sure what a Vice-Chair does but this post really has nothing to do with my Palinesque condition. What it has meant so far is that I get a lot of emails. Some people even ask me for my thoughts on issues of concern. Imagine that. I received one email asking if I had any thoughts about Rick Warren and here is my response.

I am out of town - in Milwaukee actually, where it is now 14 below 0. Asking me if I have thoughts on Rick Warren is like asking me if it is cold here.

My thoughts: My first impulse when I heard was sheer disbelief and outrage. Last week I wrote to everyone I know encouraging them to write letters to ask Obama to rethink this choice. Some of the people I wrote to (not many, but some), suggested that I was too hasty to condemn this decision. Some people are of the mind (and faith, I think) that this is part of Obama's bigger plan to create dialogue and also to stir up the right and to get people to listen to the other side (our side) that might not if we continue to dismiss all those who don't agree with our perspective. My brother, who campaigned for Obama in Milwaukee, has a "fantasy" that the reason Obama did this (as well as why he made some of his cabinet choices) was to make sure that the left stays riled up and continues to push back. In my brother's "fantasy" Obama knows that unless people get mad enough, they stay complacent, so he is doing this to make sure that we do not become apathetic again now that he is in office. In Obama's view (in my brother's fantasy, mind you), nothing will change unless we make it change, and we won't stay engaged if we think he is just going to make everything better for us once he takes command of the Whitehouse. I love this fantasy; it suggests a participative democracy rather than the authoritarianism embraced by Bush and the right.

At the same time, all of these potentially laudable explanations aside, I, like many, cannot get past my hurt, outrage and skepticism. I go back and forth. On the one hand I think that this just has to be a part of some brilliant scheme on Obama's part, that he truly means it when he says he is a "fierce advocate for gays and lesbians," and he believes that this is what will ultimately lead to our liberation. On the other hand, I think we have been duped, he is just another politician, and we are coming up with all of these explanations because we just cannot take another huge disappointment. It seems so implausible that Obama would do something so incredibly insensitive and incendiary. But have we projected our hopes too willingly on Obama, desperate to find a politician in whom we can believe? Perhaps this was his m.o. all along.

Regardless, I think we need to take his decision about Warren for its face value. Whether he means it to be a way to continue to engage us and also to stir up the right, or he simply sucks like the rest of them, we cannot be silent when any leader chooses to acknowledge so honorably someone who has been so clearly against our civil rights. If we do that, we fail either way, and what is more, it would simply be bad for us psychologically.

It is vital, however, that whatever we do, we do not provide any ammunition for the right. We must be peaceful and civil. We do not have to respect this choice, and we certainly do have to respect Warren, but we must act respectfully.

Ideas: Given all of this (maybe more than you wanted to know), I suggest that we continue to promote massive letter writing. Not just emails, but letters. Massive amounts of mail letting Obama know exactly how we feel. If he is not going to rescind this invite to Warren, he needs to really make it clear that he does not endorse Warren's views. He also needs to come out very clearly against prop 8, and against any initiative that would take rights away, and he must reinforce the vital role of separation of church and state as necessary for our survival as a democracy.

I am sure there is more, and that probably, anything less than a dis-invitation to Warren, will feel satisfactory. However, back to my original point, regardless of Obama's motives, to do nothing at all is just not an option.

prop 8 limerick?

2008-11-25T00:17:00.000-08:00

I told Karla that at least with "the gays" (that is us...) we get great signs. Imagine the signs if it were the other way around!

So I made up a limerick after I saw the one below:

There once was a ballot named eight
whose goal was to legislate hate
Frank and the guys
spread fear and told lies
and now I can't marry my mate!

more of my intolerance

2008-11-24T23:58:00.000-08:00

So, speaking of intolerance, I read just about everything that has the the following symbols in a row in any sentence: "prop 8." I read yet another ignoramuscomment (I know it is not one word... I do not care) on how our (our, meaning us gays, you know "the gays") protests are a demonstration of our (us, the gays) intolerance. AAARRRGGGHHH.

The ignoramus says:

"Why aren’t people speaking out against the intolerance of those who refuse to accept the decision made by California voters — that marriage is between a man and a woman? You don’t see McCain supporters protesting his defeat; we accept the decision of the voters. ..."

And I say:
Ya know, I am freaking sick of this kind of ignorance. Gee, I dunno, maybe because a small majority of voters who used a sleazy, dishonest and hurtful campaign and wasted millions and millions of dollars, just trampled on my civil rights, which I only just had the great pleasure of actually taking advantage of because gays and lesbians have been discriminated against and victimized for years and still are? Most of the people who are protesting do so peacefully and legally, and the freaking "anthrax" was probably a stunt set up by Frank Schubert anyway. And why do dickwads like this think this comment is even acceptable? What about the years of emotional, verbal, spiritual and physical violence against gays and lesbians? Many think now that maybe it is time that we were MORE INTOLERANT! I am personally struggling with this on a greater scale in terms of my own involvement and am consulting the oracles for insight. But for now, I am intolerant of this dickwad. Can you tell?

I have to go to sleep, but seriously, this is the kind of hypocrisy and ignorance that one could go on and on about. It is the same with Frank Schubert, who I am certain is channeling Joseph Goebbels, who said we are not allowed to boycott. Not allowed to boycott? Did I miss an amendment?

(unknown protester with awesome sign)

my intolerance

2008-11-24T23:44:00.000-08:00

Following my last post, I received a comment from someone named Katherine. I do not know who she is, but I thought I'd make a post from her comment and my response. Call me lazy.

Here it is:

Anonymous said...: I completely agreed with you that everyone should have the same rights until I read this... why go off on someone like that when they were just telling you their opinion? I ask you the same thing you asked her, WWJD? Have some compassion for other people even if they don't feel the same way you do. I feel the same way you do but I still think that was wrong and rude and not the greatest way to be a light for God. Just my thoughts...

Katherine

And I said:

Katherine - I do appreciate your feedback regarding my last entry. I was clearly angry and attacking with my words. I do hope that one day I will be able to hold all people in my heart and treat them with compassion and respect no matter what, even if they are relating my sexual orientation to the behavior of adulterers, murderers, drug addicts, sinners, liars, & people of corruption. You may say that this is not what the writer, Ms. D, was doing, and I do not want to argue about semantics. Even if one believes that we are all sinners... their beliefs have no place in the Constitution of a democratic and pluralistic society. I agree I could have been less hostile in my comments, I wish I were better at that sometimes. However, I was deeply hurt and very angry. A group of people, Ms. D included, had voted to strip me of a civil right and to make discrimination against ME legal, based on their religious beliefs. Then Ms. D suggested that my pastor was preaching against God's will. What an awful thing to say to a devoted and learned pastor who has dedicated her time and energy to teaching love. Yes, we all have a right to our opinions. The difference, and this is a point so often lost on so many, is that I HAVE NOT ATTEMPTED TO MAKE LAWS BASED ON MY OPINIONS and then claim that I am justified in doing so because that is what God would want. My sexual orientation is not an opinion. It is part of who I am and how God made me. You cannot say you love me EVEN THOUGH I am a homosexual! I also want to point out that I am not trying to be a light for God - or even pretend I could speak for God in any way - or for that matter pretend to know for sure what God's will is - other than to love one another. I love what President Elect Obama said - I am not at a high enough pay scale for that. Being a light for God is too big of a task for me - unless I can be a light that sometimes gets pissed off when people call me unworthy, trample my rights and act like idiots (see what I mean). I am however, trying to be a voice that speaks the truth to intolerance and hypocrisy and if I want to shed a light on anything it is ignorance. Thank you for your comments and I will work on my rage... and try to be more compassionate towards all people. But honestly, right now, I just can't seem to find a place in my heart for people who believe, because of a literal and limited understanding of the bible, that I do not deserve equal rights. I am open to working on this... it would be nice and maybe I would not hurt so very very deeply.

Laura

I have not heard from her again...

Come on and say it to my face

2008-11-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

Some silly person made some silly comments on the facebook wall of Reverend Sarah Halverson, the pastor who married Karla and me. Sarah emailed me about the comments and I just felt compelled to sound off on this chick, in support of Sarah and her profoundly wise and enlightened Christian teachings and her relentless struggle to fight for justice for all people. Sarah has probably dedicated more time and energy to fight prop 8 than half of West Hollywood combined. And she is not gay. Sarah is one of the most amazing people I have been blessed to meet thus far in my life. She is the senior pastor at the Fairview Community Church in Costa Mesa and she represents the spirit and voice of a loving and compassionate Christianity.

The name of the person who wrote the silly comments is Tiffany "D" and this is what she wrote on Sarah’s wall:

Our God is a God of love but he created us to be man and wife. He loves all of his children, including adulterers, murderers, drug addicts, sinners, liars, & people of corruption. That doesn't mean he would encourage the behavior. I am offended that I fought for God and the way he intended for marriage and now I am being catorgized as someone who hates homosexuals.

Then she wrote:

I as a Christian am also categorized in the same group. For I am a SINNER. I am simply stating that God's plan for marriage was between a man and woman and because I believe in HIS WORD, does not make me intolerate or someone who hates homosexuals. It also does not mean that I do not have love and compassion for homosexuals. I am speaking to Sarah to understand where she is coming from as a Christian and a woman of God. To love everyone as God loves them is different than preaching against His Will. Sarah believes in questioning Christianity. Well she has put her self up for questioning as well.

This was the response that I posted on Reverend Sarah's wall:

Dear wise and beautiful Sarah full of love and compassion, please forgive me and feel free to delete this, but I am so sick of this hypocrisy, I must object and I may be a bit, well, intolerant. I promise to take this up with my maker at a later date…

Ms. "D" – your comment represents a misguided, hypocritical, and loathing group of psychologically frozen individuals who are so full of fear that they somehow thought it right to embark on a epic mission to prevent loving couples from being married. This is how you have used your time and resources when there is so much trouble in the world. There are so many places where we can actually use our love and compassion for good instead of spending millions and millions of dollars to take away people's rights - specifically the rights of loving people to get married. I really do wonder, WWJD?

Ms. "D" - your comment smacks of entitlement and religious bigotry that is so far from being loving or compassionate, I can only imagine God weeps for you. How dare you write such blasphemy on Sarah’s wall. How dare you think yourself so self-important as to speak for God or so self-righteous as to think God would wish you to make laws in His name.

Ms. "D" – I would like to meet with you and have you tell me to my face, with all of your love and compassion for homosexuals, and I mean this, to my face, that you believe that I do not deserve the same rights as you and that God would agree.

Take some time, Ms. "D" to really think about that moment, you and me, face to face, and you telling me how much love and compassion you have for me and that I do not deserve the same rights as you.

Imagine, Ms. "D" that God is watching in this moment and think, Ms. "D," about what Christianity is really truly about, and now, imagine these words coming from your mouth: “Yes, Laura, God would not want you to have the same rights as me because you love another woman.” You and those who believe that this is what God would want - should be ashamed of yourselves.

Now this I did not write on Sarah’s wall, out of respect for the good Reverend.

Ms. D, "."

a wedding speech and thensome

2008-10-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

This may be cheating and if it is, my wonderful brother will let me know, but my guess is that is okay. What follows is the text of the speech my brother gave at my wedding, which, as he points out, did not at all resemble what we had originally planned. It was also, arguably, the best two days of my entire 44 years on this planet. A brief synopsis of the nuptials will help. Two days before our planned civil ceremony, Karla and I met the amazing Reverend Sarah Halverson of the Fairview Community Church, and it was she who married us two days later at a small park near our house.

She even brought a fellow parishioner and guitar player/songwriter, also straight but not narrow, who had offered to play for free at any gay or lesbian wedding.

This was followed by a lively dinner for 25 at an Italian restaurant that night. The next day we had a party at a gorgeous clubhouse, attended by about 60 family and friends. Some came from New York, Milwaukee, and of course, Texas. The Texans included Karla’s parents, who we did not think were going to come. Karla’s sister Sharon had arranged it, and there they were, at the park, waiting to walk Karla down the aisle (so to speak). My father was there, as were my amazing brother, fabulous sister-in-law, and beautiful niece, Zoe, who was our flower girl.

Sam, our delightful fur child, was there too.

The circle was complete, except for the absence of my mother, who died in 2002. She would have been there in person. As I write this, I am certain she is always with me.

Here is the text. It is a testament to my brother and to what this means to an entire family united, finally, by marriage.

I am Jonathan, Laura’s brother, and she asked me to read a few readings, and I have a few words of my own to add.

First, please allow me one or two thoughts about my sister and Karla and what this day and yesterday mean.

Here is the text of the very first email she sent me and a few others about the wedding.

Karla and I are having a civil ceremony on Friday, August 8 at noon at the Laguna Woods, South Orange County Courthouse. On Saturday, August 9 - (and this is the key part) - we will have a little party here at the house, just to celebrate and have some fun.

I said to Gwynne, apparently my sister isn’t making a big deal of out this, and Gwynne and I had a good laugh.

My sister, by the way, I am sure will say this is not a big deal. But this is classic Laura, and it is truly one of the things I love about her. She has a real joy for living. My sister loves life, everything about it, the big things and the little things. Their 2 bedroom house is a perfect example – let’s see how much life we can stuff into this thing. Laura, Karla, and Sharon, three dogs, a cat, outside is the beautiful garden my sister is creating, the garage is stuffed with thousands of dollars worth of exercise equipment, the refrigerator will have some yummy aged cheese or something my sister couldn’t resist, my dad will be over, asleep on the couch, and one of the dogs will be lapping up some food crumbs it found in his beard or something. So now Gwynne, Zoe, and I are also staying there. We asked them several times – are you SURE this is what you want? It is going to be awfully crowded. We can get a hotel. But they really want us there, with the dogs and cats and whatever, it is about being surrounded by LIFE, by friends, by family, comfort be damned. It is not about comfort. It is about my sister waking up in the morning with Karla on one side, Sam on the other, and Zoe jumping on her belly demanding we make chocolate chip pancakes.

So anyway I wrote this the other day, and then last night apparently it was decided from on high that they should get a hotel room for the night of their wedding. Sharon had already obtained a hotel room, so somehow Gwynne, Zoe and I ended up alone in their house, and by alone I mean alone like in a petting zoo. I woke at three in the morning to the experience of Bizou licking the small of my back with his little sandpaper tongue. The fact that the plans changed at the last minute is classic Laura, too. But tonight we’ll all be together, and Laura will get her family surround sound experience.

So that is what this little party is about. It is about bringing everyone together in community and support, but more importantly, it is about celebrating two people whose lives came together a long time ago, who would have done this a long time ago. I know this issue is on everyone’s minds, and the ceremony yesterday really focused on this beautifully, so I’ll keep it short. We live in a world, in a country, that includes all the joys of life, but also includes fear and hatred, and these produce intolerance, bigotry, racism, sexism, discrimination, political systems and leaders with ambitions and goals that are NOT about celebrating life and helping all people celebrate life. So Karla and Laura have had to wait, and now, with the window of opportunity open, rush the celebration in case the window closes.

So putting this little party together and getting everyone here really was a team effort. I know a lot of Laura’s and Karla’s colleagues and friends have made an effort, either to put this together or just to get here, and here is where I was going to thank everyone on behalf of Laura and Karla, but at the last minute Laura changed her mind and wants to do it herself. So I won’t thank Stephanie or Kevin but I will say that it was not Stephanie’s fault Google screwed up the directions to the restaurant yesterday, sending everyone sprawling aimlessly across Irvine looking for it.

But, hey, isn’t this exactly as it should be for a lesbian wedding? Life isn’t easy; some times it is downright hard, so let’s throw up some obstacles and see if people can get to the wedding. That is what this is about in a way, overcoming obstacles, together. Because things are not always easy, my sister’s life has not always been easy, and sometimes doing the hard thing is more important than doing the easy thing. And I know it is important to my sister that all of you are here in force to recognize this attempt by Laura and Karla to grab a little equality, and to make this event meaningful and filled with love and friendship and SUPPORT.

My sister asked me to read this, called A MARRIAGE, by Michael Blumenthal, which I think gets at this.

You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.

But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.

And my sister just happens to have found as a partner a world-class athlete, who I have a hunch would lie down on her back and hold the ceiling up with an extended quadricep press, but more importantly she really gets my sister, in fact gets me, gets my father, is humble, is strong, is amazingly honest, beautiful, generous, compassionate, patient, loving, and unflappable. And my family, myself included, have acquired several advanced degrees in flapping, and we seemingly haven’t been able to get to her…ok Karla didn’t want me or anyone to give a speech, much less about her, so I’ll stop there, but my sister did ask me to read another passage, from Beloved by Toni Morrison, which I think describes a little bit how much my sister appreciates Karla:

Paul D sits down in the rocking chair and examines the quilt patched in carnival colors. His hands are limp between his knees. There are too many things to feel about this woman. His head hurts. Suddenly he remembers Sixo trying to describe what he felt about the Thirty-Mile Woman. "She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind."

Ok. Finally, my sister asked me to read one more thing, it is an APACHE marriage blessing. I couldn’t figure out a way to really incorporate it, so I’ll just read it:

APACHE MARRIAGE BLESSING

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

So, for my part, I’d just like to take this opportunity to say I love you two and congratulations Laura and Karla.

Do not be silently outraged ...

2008-10-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

Please watch this video. Or read this Letter to the Editor of the Laguna Beach Independent written by a wise and amazing woman who has made and continues to make a positive difference in my life. Dr. Michele McCormick writes " ... marriage at the center is the keeper of social context and tradition, a life-long, life-giving covenant, a container, a safe harbor to navigate the vicissitudes of life, raise children, weather anger and conflict, and ultimately explore the many layers and seasons of love." Please read her insightful, intelligent and deeply personal essay.

Or read about Why Republicans are Against 8. Perhaps you will find this Personal Message to Californians on Proposition 8 or this liberal blogger's perspective interesting. Maybe you prefer this blog in which the writer states "Now, in all my time in seminary I never found that Bible verse about Jesus passing ballot propositions. It must have been in the Revised Standard translation and we used the King James translation." Perhaps you will be moved to act due to the attempt by the prop 8 people to add blackmail or outright lies and exploitation of children to the list of acceptable Christian behaviors? There are also many Mormons against prop 8, and there is even a website called Gays and the Gospel which offers 11 Scriptural Reasons LDS should oppose prop 8. Of course, there are many many Christians who oppose prop 8 (see my previous blog "What would you do" from 10/23). Go to Stop Prop 8 for info and more videos.

Please share these resources or anything else that you find about prop 8 that is intelligent and truthful. Please do something, in addition to voting, to defeat prop 8. Give money, send an email to everyone you know, ask them to do the same. Wear a sticker. Hand out info. Talk to your families, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the guy at the supermarket, the waiter, barrista, salesperson, dog walker, anyone. Ask them to do the same.

Please do one more thing every day until next Tuesday and ask everyone you know to ask everyone they know to do the same. Please do not let these people use their distortions and deception and fear tactics and scapegoating and ignorance and hatefulness and homophobia to take away our rights. Please do one more thing. Every day.

Do you want to know what to do? Simply go to the no on 8 website.

Do not be silently outraged and continue to be comforted by the voices in your own choir. Do not have to say "I'm sorry about prop 8" to anyone. To me. It will not be enough to vote no. Do one more thing every day. Do not let hate win.

Pabulum

2008-10-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

1) Inspired to write something laconic for once (anyone who knows me knows what kind of challenge that might pose), after stumbling upon a community blog called Six Sentences that allows you to submit a six-sentence "blog" (a "blogette"?) for possible posting on their site, I noticed a Yahoo ad (you know, the ones that pop-up on your blog or facebook page) that said: "Looking for Sentences? Find exactly what you want today."
2) I clicked eagerly expecting to find some magical and sapient website that perspicaciously re-writes your sentences, but better, you know, like how a writer might write.
3) I did find these super-cool "sentence strips" and was just about to order them when I realized they were probably blank.
4) Not finding this magical website that would transform my crummy compositions into sagacious prose, I instead flitted away 2 hours looking up words on thesuarus.com hoping I might actually write six sententious sentences.
5) Clearly, this did not help.
6) Pabulum Is Pabulum Is Pabulum (see: pabulum)

A groovy snack shack business in England:

What would you DO!

2008-10-23T13:49:00.001-07:00

Hi - It is me again.

Before you read this somewhat lengthy essay, I will preface it with what I will end with as well. That way, if you give up and stop reading, you will at least have gotten the important part: I am asking, on behalf of Karla and myself, and well, humanity in general, for you to donate (again) to the no-on-8 campaign. I will add a bit of well-known prose that speaks to my point and then, if you are hearty (yes, I know how to spell. I did it on purpose) enough, read on. Otherwise, just donate!! Anything. 5$. 5,000$. And not because I want to stay married. Karla and I will always be married. We know it. Those of you who came to our wedding know it. Of course I want to stay married in the “legal sense” but no-one can take away the weekend of August 8 and 9, 2008 and what it meant to us. This is about so much more. It is about this:

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a trade unionist; Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me-- and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Martin Niemoeller

Now, for the rest:

As some of you know, Karla and I went on something of a honeymoon a couple of weeks ago. It is noteworthy in terms of what I will discuss here, that we were on a week-long “wedding and sports cruise” (only lesbians could come up with a concept like this, by the way!). We came home from an amazing, empowering week with 1800 lesbians, many “just married,” to find "yes on 8" signs all over our neighborhood. Then, last Thursday, as I was coming home from work, right down the block from our house, a large group of "Yes on 8" people were lined up along the street with big fancy signs that said things like "Parental Rights = Yes on 8" and "Less Government = Yes on 8" (which is in fact the exact opposite of the truth - what do you call the exact opposite of the truth???). It was horrific and scary.

I have learned a lot in the last few weeks. Maybe you all know some of this already. (Maybe some of you know all of this, already…) For what it is worth, here is a synopsis… and it is all interrelated.

1) It is not about marriage:

It has become acutely apparent that this battle extends far beyond marriage and if we do not defeat prop 8, it will literally do so over time (extend far beyond marriage). I knew this, but I never felt it so viscerally as I did when a "yes on 8" protester smiled at me and said "WE want you to have equal rights. WE just believe marriage is between a man and woman." I have heard this a lot - "WE want you to have equal rights, but..." It is beyond hypocritical. It cannot be dismissed as ignorance – that is a mistake we often make and look where this has gotten us. Here is this very nicely coiffed white “Christian” woman in her “yes on 8” t-shirt, funded mostly by the Mormon church, telling me what she “wants” us to have. I felt, quite acutely, as if she actually viewed me as a second class citizen, as someone who was not as American as she (I cannot help but think about Palin's "real Americans"). What she was saying is that, because of who I love (and yes, I am making this personal, because it is), I am not entitled to the same civil rights as she is. Of course this is patronizing. Of course it smacks of a sense of entitlement. I asked myself, who is this "WE" that has the power and ability to grant or deny my rights? Am I not part of this “WE”? Are you? It takes only a majority of the vote, that is 50.1%, to pass an AMENDMENT to the California State CONSTITUTION!!! 50.1%!! That is in and of itself, ridiculous. With enough money, the Fundamentalist Christian Right can pass ANYTHING – and they have the money.

2) The Fundamental Christian Right wants to create a theocracy:

I am reminded of this terrifying statement from a Rev. Arnold Conrad as he led the invocation at a McCain rally:

“I also would also pray, Lord, that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their god–whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah–that his opponent wins, for a variety of reasons. And Lord, I pray that you will guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their God is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and election day.”

Aside from the probability that Carl Rove now seems to be helping some Church leaders write their speeches (and by the way, there is a special place in a dark cave reserved for Rove, right next to Roy Cohn and Lee Atwater) what was this man saying? Was he saying this in reference to THE Christian God? Whose God? I do not need to expound on why this is ridiculous.

As one blogger put it, Conrad's message is “If God does not vote Republican, his reputation will suffer!” Why didn’t the McCain campaign denounce this statement? This message is also embedded, also not at all obscurely, in Palin’s divisive bullshit about the "pro-America areas of this great nation." Was Rev. Conrad referring to THAT God, the God of the "pro-America areas of this great nation?"

(You may wonder where I am headed here. If you find out, will you let me know?)

Of course the connection is that proposition 8 is an attempt by some religious groups and some religious people to turn their religious beliefs (those informed by THEIR God) into laws and chip away at the 14th Amendment which, I remind you, states:

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

It is an attempt to create a “Christian Nation” using Gays and Lesbians as scapegoats. A wonderful blogger (Just Another Black Sheep: Life on the Outside of the Herd) wrote:

“This isn't just about whether one believes that lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender folks are living "moral" lives. This is about taking that "moral" judgement and spinning it into the fabric of discrimination via the creation of separate laws for separate groups of people. Some people have "these" rights, others have "these" rights.”
Read the rest of the blog… good stuff.

Here is my concern: After they are done stripping GLBT people of our rights, who will they target next? It seems, as Andrew Sullivan points out, it wont be the Mormons, as they are securing their safety from the scourge by donating about 20 million dollars into the “yes on 8” campaign. Silly! Don’t they know they cannot buy a spot in a “Christian Nation?” It is not going to be a “Christian-Mormon Nation,” especially if Sarah Palin and the Rev. Conrad have anything to do with it.

3) Okay, I am not a Christian, but I live with one, and in my humble Jewish (is that an oxymoron?) opinion, Prop 8 and its message are a distortion of Christian values and are hurtful to all Christians.

In the service of time and not putting my proverbial foot in my proverbial mouth, I will refer you to the following. However, I hope to come back to this later…

This one is awesome:
http://www.musingson.com/index.html
http://ecchurch.org/marriageequality.htm
so is this one: http://news.lavenderliberal.com/2008/08/30/six-big-lies-the-freedom-haters-are-spreading-about-proposition-8/
And here are some more:
http://www.iwgonline.org/marriage/
http://fathergeofffarrow.blogspot.com//
http://mormonsformarriage.com/
http://moremusingson.blogspot.com/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-gregory/prop-8-preying-on-califor_b_135771.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90ANZiOK0o0
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/letters/la-le-letters23-2008oct23,0,1540813.story

This is a wonderful pdf. that debunks the major lies the yes on 8 people are spewing.

Story of Father Geoffrey Farrow.

This is a great article with arguments and talking points.

And finally, this popped up from someone who found my blog. Interesting...

4) The passage of prop 8 will lead to increased discrimination and violence against GLBT people

Unequal treatment under the law is an explicit message of inequality and unequal means different. The passing of prop 8 will reinforce the belief that GLBT people are not only different but are in fact less worthy than heterosexual people. LESS RIGHTS = LESS WORTHY = OKAY TO BEAT UP. By denying gays and lesbians equal civil rights, such as marriage, society condones homophobia and violence against gays and lesbians. The horrid story of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old California MIDDLE SCHOOL Student who was shot to death by a 14-year-old classmate is one startling example. As one article states "It wasn't makeup or clothes that got Lawrence King killed. It was a society that continues to send the message that gays and lesbians are lesser human beings, unworthy of equal rights."

5) Finally, (for now, cause I gotta go hold up a sign), this is a Human Rights Issue!

Prop 8 is not only about marriage - it is about equality and human dignity.

“Finally, the segregation of same-sex unions into a special legal status is a form of “separate but equal” acknowledgement. Separate is never equal: the experience of racial segregation in the United States testifies eloquently to how preserving discreteness only perpetuates discrimination. Even if the rights promised by civil unions on paper correspond exactly to those entailed in civil marriage, the insistence on a distinct nomenclature means that the stigma of second-class status will still cling to those relationships.

Governments committed to equality cannot legitimately reserve certain areas of civil life as exempt zones where inequality is permitted. Human rights principles demand that states end discrimination based on sexual orientation in civil marriage, and open the status of marriage to all.”

Okay, I lied (I've been taking notes from the opposition!)
6) One more thing. If it was your marriage... what would YOU do??

If Prop. 8 passes, here's what would likely happen:

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Martin Niemoeller

So we continue to donate and hold up signs. If it were your marriage, what would you do?
I’ll be back!!

To donate, click Karla below. She'll take you where need to go!

Peace –
Laura

Mooseshit

2008-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am thankful to Katherine Goldstein who has (in addition to many other bloggers and writers and friends) made me feel less alone and less insane. I have been thinking lots about why I got so riled up by the Palin fiasco. What is comforting is that what I have thought and felt has been echoed by so many women AND men in the press and blogs. But while the hullabaloo about Palin has paled somewhat given the other disasters our country and the world are facing, I am still deeply troubled. Palin is more like an open sore than an open book. Of course the candidates need to focus on the issues… But here is a thought: Is it possible that Palin has turned into more of an issue herself, rather than a simple distraction, something perhaps the Maverick could not have anticipated due to his speed-dating style of running mate selection? (Which is another 2 or 3 topics to explore including the danger of his touted “go with the gut” decision making and also the question of who actually chose Palin… maybe it was the Ayatollah?). Perhaps the increase in lies, distortions and shit slinging (they bypassed mud, the assholes are tossing actual shit, probably moose shit or polar bear shit), is related to the possibility that the campaign made a bad decision and needs to distract us from the distraction?

You know, people who know me have every now and then suggested that I may have some ADD type tendencies. And I am thinking that this is just the kind of person who can pay attention to all of these distractions and then redirect them back to the source. So, okay, where was I?

It is the fundamental deviousness and perfidy of the selection of Palin and Palin’s absolute and supercilious complicity (yes, I used the thesaurus, I love words!) that so disgusts and repels. You know how McCain has this “Country First” slogan? What a crock of mooseshit (I have made one word out of moose shit – it works better)! It has nothing to do with “Country First.” McCrockofshit knows full well Sarah Palin is not ready to run this country (even if he thinks he can). The choice of Palin completely obliterates that mouthful of spin because if McCrockofshit actually cared about this country he would have picked a more credible running mate to protect and strengthen it when he croaks which he is very likely to do before his term would be over were he elected, God forbid. It is not “Country First.” It is, once again, greed and greed for power first. And look where that has got us.

So this is one stream going through my mind… there are more. I have actually been having dreams about the election (which I find rather exciting even though they are kind of upsetting – seems less narcissistic than my normal dreams). My head feels like an RSS feed on overload. I have been doing my homework on Iran and of course there is much to say about Prop. 8. And I am not done with Sarah – I am going to create my own Palinography… coming soon. For now, I must stop and do some vinyasas and breathe.

My first flap!

2008-09-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

This is my first flap.

I am obsessed with the news. I can't sleep. I am up all hours watching deliciously liberally biased (aka the truth) news shows and surfing and reading and posting and I can't stop my head from shaking from side to side... I think I may be developing a twitch! I hate coming to work because I want to spend the day following the news, motivated in part by fear and in part because I am so incredulous that I need constant feeds to confirm that this is all really happening. Perhaps this is why I post so many articles, and check my facebook for posts and comments from friends. I need confirmation from the outside world, beyond my day to day environment, that yes, it is really happening and I am not the only one who is paying attention.

My addiction is becoming too big for facebook. I need a wider audience (even if no audience needs me). A facebook friend and former student, bless his heart (a very big and beautiful heart at that), suggested I blog.

So I am blogging, or flapping. I am calling it lauraflaps because apparently that is what I do. I flap. According to my brother Jonathan (the psychologist) and my cousin, Katherine (the writer), I am a flapper from a family of flappers. I mention their professions only to add validity to their diagnostic qualifications. And because they impress me and I love them. A lot. Their speeches at my wedding were amazing. Their words wrapped around my wedding like a hug.

Where was I?? Oh, flapping. See?

I have so much to say that no one necessarily wants to hear. I say necessarily because maybe someone wants to hear some of it... I like the way I think (about most things, although I don't always like how much I think and of course there are some things I'd rather not think about and some things I waste my time thinking about) and I like the way I write. So maybe someone else will too? Or perhaps, simply saying it will be enough. (Doubtful though.)

So now I am at work, and it is almost 7 p.m. and I need to go home and eat and watch Rachel (the wonderful new addition to the lineup) and Keith and Jon and if I am unable to sleep, Steven. I end with Jon because he is funny and otherwise I have nightmares.

Karla just called and is wondering where the heck I am. I am going home now... Rachel (I mean Karla) is waiting.